I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
