btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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