No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
