Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
