After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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