Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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