I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
