i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
