I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
