My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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