i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
