If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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