shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
