12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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