he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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