I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
