she was so not down for the gang bang
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
