Screwed.edu
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
