Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
