Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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