I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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