two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
