i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
