Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
