those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I pour the whiskey from now on
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
