...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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