i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
