Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
