This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
