This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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