That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
