You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
