rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
