I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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