I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
