She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
