she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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