Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Drake has all the answers
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
