Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
