you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
