the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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