This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
