yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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