She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
