Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
