i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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