i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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