saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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