yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
