Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
