Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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